Tool

Therapist or coach?

In a field where anyone can call themselves anything, the useful question is what your situation actually requires. Eight questions, and a straight answer.

Reviewed by Albert Wong, PhDClinical psychologistLast reviewed September 2026About this site

1.Sex is painful, or there is bleeding, or something has physically changed.

2.I am afraid of my partner, or I plan my words to avoid a reaction, or saying no has consequences.

3.There is a history of sexual trauma or abuse, or I get flashbacks or intrusive memories.

4.I go away during sex — dissociate, go numb, lose time, watch from outside.

5.I am dealing with depression, significant anxiety, or an eating disorder.

6.My sexual behaviour feels out of control, or is causing consequences I cannot stop.

7.Desire dropped noticeably after starting a medication, or alongside fatigue or mood change.

8.Mostly I want to work out what I like, how to ask for it, or how to feel more present.

Why this matters more here than elsewhere

Because nothing is protecting you. “Intimacy coach,” “embodiment practitioner” and “sex coach” are unprotected titles — anyone can use them tomorrow, with no training and no oversight, and there’s no board to complain to.

Price signals nothing either. Coaching is frequently the most expensive option on offer and the least qualified. The three categories are here, and the credentials that actually mean something are worth three minutes of checking before you book anything.

What a good coach does with a question like this

Refers, immediately and without defensiveness. A coach who recognises something outside their scope and says so is demonstrating competence rather than admitting a limitation.

One who takes it on anyway is telling you something you should act on. Along with the rest of this list.

Keep reading

46 guides on embodiment, desire and intimacy, free and without an account. There is a directory here too — it is new, and growing.

General information for adults, not clinical or medical advice; the people described are composites, not real clients. Nothing here is a substitute for care from a licensed clinician or physician, and pain, bleeding, or a sudden change in sexual function is a medical question first. No practitioner listed on this site offers touch, surrogate partner work, or sexual services. Listings are maintained by independent practices. If you are in immediate danger, call 911; the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available any time, and the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.